Cara Baker was tired.
Not physically, not really emotionally, either. More, actually, it was the weariness of boredom. Today was the same as yesterday, which was the same as the day before and tomorrow would only be different if something worse happened to her.
It was strange because the events of each day were only about 45% routine, new things, new people, new places (though all hotel rooms seemed to be the same) happened all the time, but Cara was never different. She was bored with who she had become, bored with her inability to give a shit about anything.
Just plain fucking bored, equally bored with all the things in her life she had done a million times, as well as with the novel experiences she encountered. She was so desensitized, so unexcited. Her four year old son, Jeremy, was so excited about discovery, so elated at the tiniest piece of life, it was so hard for her to empathize.
She hated him for it. She was where she was, in part, because of that little bastard. Well no, not exactly, that was unfair. He hadn’t done anything she hadn’t started. It wasn’t his fault that she fell in love with a man ten years older than her. It wasn’t his fault that she had agreed to have his child, and it certainly wasn’t little Jeremy’s fault that the man had shot himself in the head with a .357 magnum, three times, somehow.
Insurance doesn’t pay for suicides, and it wouldn’t matter if it had because the fuck had gambled away all his money, let the policy lapse, and spent all of her money as well. Leaving her with a tumor in her belly that had metastasized to the point it was now illegal and prohibitively dangerous to remove it. It would come out on its own, surely, and she had despised it long before she heard confused wails or seen its demon visage.
She was just frustrated, the child wasn’t that bad, but he was a reminder, a constant reminder, of how stupid she had been, and worse how right her father had been about the entire thing. He never threw it in her face; he just tagged an “I told you so” sign to her back when she wasn’t looking.
Her father was always fucking right.
How had everything gone so wrong? She had been so full of promise and purpose as a kid. The smartest girl in school, friends with everyone. Always the most popular girl anywhere she was. Puberty had been very generous allowing the transition from girl into young woman with very little of the accustomed awkwardness. She had never wanted for male attention.
There had been many men, guys she had flings with; a few short term relationships, but none of them could hold her interest for too long. That was until she met Robert. Everything changed when they met; she had never known that two people could connect like they had. And it had happened almost instantly.
Robert had been about six months from graduating law school. She had been a freshman, wide eyed and completely unprepared for this amazingly charming and horribly gorgeous man, who seemed to know all the right things to say and do. Everyone loved him, his friends practically thought him a God, and he had picked her. Some no name girl, he had picked her. The age difference had not seemed so much a problem, he was 28, she was 19 and they fell in love.
The age difference of 35 and 26, however, proved to be a little more problematic.
Robert had a job with a law firm in
Then, for some reason, that started being a problem for Cara. She had no idea who she was, without Robert, without someone, what her talents were, she vaguely remembered being good at something, once, a long time ago. She was Robert’s loving wife. Without him, she was, no one, she was only able to define herself by him, and come to think of it, it had really always been that way. She had always been either her father’s daughter or somebody’s girl. She decided she needed to go out on her own. Be alone for a while, discover who she was.
Then Robert convinced her to stay. She had wanted to go; she didn’t feel the same anymore. She wasn’t so sure he was the one she wanted to be with forever, she needed, something…it was so vague, yet so powerful, this need, but he had convinced her to stay, they would get married and start a family.
It seemed like a good idea at the time. Robert, of course, had been hiding his gambling problem for years, and they were in debt up to their eyeballs.
Cara could tell the man was about to cum. His hand tightened in her hair, his groans became slightly higher pitched, his asshole tightened on her finger, and then he exploded into her mouth. She held his sperm in her mouth, waited until she got it all and then crawled up his hairy, pudgy body, until they were face to face. His head smelled of sweat and hair gel, his face red, his cheeks flushed and panting. She grabbed him by the ears and pulled his lips to hers. His mouth opened and she pushed his jism into his own mouth, working onto his tongue with hers while he moaned with excitement.
When she had spit it all into his mouth she sat back and unstraddled his lap.
“I’m gonna take a shower,” she said over her shoulder as she walked naked into the bathroom, “When I get out I’m going to make you owe me another two thousand dollars.”
The man nodded in helpless agreement, and Cara shut the bathroom door.
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